


Reminisce

by sseundalkhom



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Seoksoon Festival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 17:50:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11064075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseundalkhom/pseuds/sseundalkhom





	Reminisce

He just wanted him back. Nothing else.

Seokmin only wanted his Soonyoung back. He missed the person who took his heart away and never gave it back, as he was no longer living on this earth. Yet, he still lived inside Seokmin’s heart as well as in _his memory_.

He had cried many times after the incident. They were supposed to have a dinner date and Seokmin had planned to propose to him that night. They were supposed to hold a party last year and have their honeymoon at Akita, where they met for the first time because of a school trip to Japan. They were supposed to have a baby, one that Soonyoung had laid his eyes on once they had dreams of having a family back then. A kid who was playful like him and Seokmin, and both of them would have been happy if that incident had never happened. However, it was just an empty hope of his now. 

_He would never see him again._

Soonyoung had passed away 3 years ago due to a hit-and- run accident. The culprit had only been sentenced for 2 years. Seokmin protested heavily against the sentence. He had lost his lover and his dream but the culprit only had to serve two years in prison while he had to live in despair until death took him away. It was unfair. Who could ever imagine how to continue on living, when the biggest joy in their lives had been abruptly taken away, the love of their lives, gone. No one could bear the misery of living alone despite having those around trying to cheer them up. No one could replace Soonyoung in Seokmin’s life.

_He was just too special for Seokmin._

He would cry over and over again, repeating without a pause in between. Even today, Seokmin retraced the road he used to walk along with the person he loved dearly. He remembered whenever they took that road, Soonyoung would stop to grab a snack and he would always make Seokmin eat it with him. Soonyoung would give a show of cute aegyo just because he knew Seokmin would not be able to resist it. He would give in eventually and they would end up feeding each other until they reached the apartment.

Seokmin smiled bitterly.

 

 

He still remembered how the older twitched his lips every time they locked eyes with each other. He still remembered how he saw the universe through Soonyoung’s eyes. His eyes was something he could never tire of. A stare that always soothed his heart. A stare that reminded Seokmin how much Soonyoung loved him. It was precious to him, until it slowly killed him once he started to live alone.

Everything about him was worth the universe. He was priceless.

Kwon Soonyoung was akin to the most expensive gift he had ever received. He was his destiny - but a destiny that was fated to face death at a young age. A destiny that never had a chance at having a family with Seokmin. Meanwhile, it seemed that Seokmin was fated to taste happiness only for a brief moment before drowning in bitterness till the end of his time. His sole source of happiness, stolen.

 

He took another path as he walked down memory lane again, a path headed to a park. Tears rolled down his face as he got closer to his destination. He could not imagine how terrible that night was. His happiness was taken away so easily, although it was not the happiness that he wanted. All he wanted was Soonyoung, someone who filled Seokmin’s days with happiness, laughter, love, and everything sweet, a person Seokmin would never tire of.

After Soonyoung departed from him,

Seokmin only lived underneath the shadows of the traces he left behind. He appeared to be a hard-working and positive man at his office, but despite all the positivity and charm he gave through his performance, he was a despondent man. A despondent man who lived in the past and struggled to live in the present.

Every day he lived as if Soonyoung was still alive and with him. Every smile he wore on his face was a smile for whenever he told himself that Soonyoung was probably already at home and making dinner for him so he should finish his task faster. It was a smile he wore whenever Soonyoung did something silly with him but the latter was never embarrassed, and so instead of face-palming himself, he wore that smile.

_He felt content at that time._

He looked up to the sky, wondering if Soonyoung was watching over him or not. He wondered if Soonyoung felt lonely or not. He was curious if the latter still felt the same way about him. 

A water drop fell on him. It was beginning to rain. Seokmin smiled.

“You must be feeling lonely,” he mumbled softly. He tightened his coat and let out a heavy sigh.

“My baby is waiting for me, why am I walking to this park alone?” he muttered to himself.

He turned back to his path, away from the park where he had asked Soonyoung to be his boyfriend, and started his way back to his apartment. He walked faster, yet his pace was similar to the pace he used to walk at when Soonyoung was still alive and would be waiting for him to come back from work. His heart started beating faster as soon he arrived at the building where he spent most of his time with Soonyoung ever since they started dating.

The downpour became harder once Seokmin arrived at the building. He quickly went up to check his room. He turned the knob and found no one waiting for his arrival. His heart clenched hard as he held back the tears. He shook his head and took off his coat before he washed himself.

“Perhaps he’s stuck on his project,” he told himself before stepping into the bathroom.

* * *

 

He stared at the ceiling, his mind going blank from staring continuously at the white space. The clock was ticking and there was a buzzing sound from outside, yet he felt deaf somehow.

A familiar sound was playing from his laptop. Seokmin was replaying a video where Soonyoung had left a short message for their anniversary. He always replayed it whenever he missed his voice even though he already had a voice message of Soonyoung’s “good morning” as his alarm. He got used to hearing it every day. A tear rolled down when he heard those three simple words from Soonyoung.

 _“I miss you Seokmin-ah,”_ he said through the video. He desperately yearned for his lover. He desperately wanted to see him, hug him, hold him, but he was unable to do so.

“I miss you too, Soonyoung-ah,” he replied, leaving a silent sob in the end. 

Slowly he closed his eyes and a portrait of Soonyoung appeared as he drew him in his sleep. He felt at ease whenever he closed his eyes because Soonyoung would appear and hug him. Even though it only happened in his dreams, it was more than _enough_ for him.

 

 


End file.
